big violas

argh there is the most annoying violist i have ever met sitting next to me for an upcoming concert. he always speaks loudly, and when he plays, he sits in such a way that despite his music being to his left and my being to his right, most of his body faces me. he seems to use up more space than necessary, and his bow arm comes dangerously close to hitting the reeds on my instruments when they are sitting on their pegs to my left. (i suppose i could switch sides, but if you've ever doubled, you know how weird it would be to suddenly have your instruments on the wrong side. plus, USUALLY there is more room on that side!) now he actually asked me the other day if he was too close to my instruments (perhaps catching my concerned/annoyed looks) to which i responded, yes! his response: "well, it's just i have such a big viola . . . you know what they say about guys with big violas, right?"

i just KNEW as soon as he uttered the first part of that quote that he would follow it with the second. he's just that kind of guy. and i don't appreciate it. not one bit. not when he's that close. because did he move over after that? umm, maybe an inch. not nearly enough. he's just so weird and makes me uncomfortable (and i'm not the only one in the orchestra who feels this way). what's even more frustrating is that this same guy subbed with my orchestra for a concert last year, too, and did the same thing, minus the big viola comment. i thought i'd never have to see him again, but no. oh well, at least for the concert we'll be on risers so it won't be a problem. but if he damages my instruments or reeds in any way (or makes another such irritating attempt to flirt with me, if that is what he was aiming for) i will LOSE IT. i miss the regular violists!